Alicia & Alex {Engagement}

“In all the world there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world there is no love for you like mine. ” ~ Maya Angelou

 

There is something so special about being behind the lens capturing love. I got to spend a few hours with Alicia & Alex at one of my favorite locations capturing the excitement of their upcoming marriage. You guys, I wish you nothing but the best as you join your families together! I loved every minute with you two & I hope you treasure these captures of that day forever.

xo~

Mackenzie

 

Where I’ve been & where I’m going

“Grief is like an earthquake. The first one hits you and the world falls apart. Even after you put the world together again there are aftershocks, and you never really know when those will come.” ~ Author Unknown

 

365 days ago our life changed. When I think about it today my heart still races, I can feel myself become anxious and my eyes fill with tears. We made it a whole year but my heart still hurts.

I’ve been doing so well and have felt like I had made such progress in dealing with all my loss but I think this week leading up to the year mark has just sent me back to those days of panic. I know some may think “Mackenzie, it is just a house. Get over it.” You can think that but please don’t ever speak those words to me or anyone going through loss. If it were that easy nobody would ever hurt. And honestly, I think grieving people would give anything to not feel this way. It is “just” a house but with that so much was taken.

I’m a closure type girl. You hurt me or I hurt you, lets talk about it, resolve it and move on. I will never have closure with what was done to us. I will never have a chance to speak and tell the people that hurt us the pain they have caused my family. I will never get to ask “Why”. Why did they do it through text and not sit us down together? Why couldn’t my kids finish the last eight weeks of school with their friends in a place where they felt secure? Why did our house sit empty for three months? So many questions I have but will never have answered. There will be no “I’m sorry.” That in itself is why I grieve. The house is a part of it but a house is replaceable. In dealing with this crazy mess I have had to learn in my head and in my heart that I may never have closure. My heart breaks at that thought.

The loss of our home has in turn brought up the loss of never being able to carry a baby. For ten years that has sat buried deep, deep down in a place I never go to. It was like a Band-Aid was ripped off and there was that old wound. I remember a time during losing a baby and someone said to me “Oh don’t worry, so many first pregnancies end in miscarriage. The next one will stick.” And then I lost the next one. It didn’t “stick”. And then I heard things like “God has a plan.” And then I lost twins and my mind wondered what that plan was. Was there a plan for me? Was I a good enough person? Did I love God enough? And then I buried it. Forgot the dates my babies were lost and even forgot the dates their birthdays would be. I think that was a defense mechanism for me because maybe that pain never existed. Keep the loss to myself and move on. People don’t talk about miscarriages. Most of the time women lose one and then eventually get to carry a baby to term. It was different for me. I will never get to carry out what my female body was meant to do. Yes, I am a mom through adoption and it is a beautiful thing. I love my kids more than they will ever know. But, deep, deep down is loss. I recently read a post my girlfriends husband posted about how his love for her changed in the delivery room. I was so happy for them but inside I ached. I will never get to be in that room with just my husband. Oh I grieve that so much. This I will grieve till the day I die. That’s a hard thing to process some days.

My sweet and amazing counselor recently shared something with me that touched me deeply. I want to share my version with you.

Imagine for a minute that we are together in Africa. We are walking with a diamond miner and you happen to step on a rock that pokes through your shoe. You stop because it hurts but then you see it’s just a boring rock so you keep going. But that miner that you are with, he stops you. He bends over to pick up that boring rock. And he says to you “Do you trust me?” You look at him and say “yes” but in your head you are thinking this guy is nuts. He takes you back to his worksite where he begins his work of cleaning and shaping that boring rock. Soon you begin to light up because that is no rock! You can see the sunlight beginning to hit the facets he is shaping. It’s becoming a beautiful treasure. He is taking off those stains one at a time. The work is not easy. But eventually he hands you the boring rock that is now beaming in the sunlight and is the most beautiful diamond you have ever seen. You are that diamond! There are scars, dirt, band-aids, parts of us we never want God to see but slowly and over time He scrapes. He cleans areas of our lives that are filled with hurt and soon enough the light shines through. Made beautiful.

And then she gave me one diamond. ” This is for you Mackenzie. To Him you are a gem.” And then she gave me another.  I cry writing this because never have my babies been given anything by anyone till this day. “Baby number 1 was only with you for a short time but it was real Mackenzie. God’s gem.” And she went on one by one to give me three more. And I held those gems in my hand and we talked about the ways and areas that God is shining through. I didn’t want to cry that day and I even told her that but this was one of the most touching counseling sessions I’ve had. I cried a lot- it is ok to cry, especially at counseling. I keep those gems in my car so I can see them daily and remember where I’ve been and where I’m going.

Loss doesn’t define us. Not being able to carry babies doesn’t define me. Having our home taken by the ones we loved doesn’t define me. Yes, some days like today it stings and I just want to run from it.  I know that through this He’s shaping me, cleaning me and allowing me to shine. After all, it’s not my story to write, I just get to be a part in the play.

So if you are hurting I hope through these words you may have found a bit of hope. Like my counselor always reminds me “The loss will forever be there but over time the pain will become less.” Oh, how I long for that day!

You are loved… Always!

Be Blessed!

Mackenzie

Craig & Emily {Engagement}

I choose you. And I’ll choose you, over and over and over. Without a pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I’ll keep choosing you.

Yesterday I had the privilege of photographing Craig & Emily. They recently got engaged after dating for 4 years and are looking forward to tying the knot this coming November. So exciting!

Emily & Craig, I am so excited for you two as you begin this new journey together. I know it may feel stressful as the craziness of wedding planning begins but take time to cherish these moments because it seriously flies by. Thank you for letting me share in this special time!

xoxo~

Mackenzie

Savvy {Senior 2017}

Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must, but take the step.

Meet my sweet friend, Savvy. This year is a very exciting year for her because come this June she will be graduating!!! I couldn’t be more proud of her. I first met Savvy when she was an itty bitty little girl at church & I have had the privilege of watching her bloom into the beautiful girlie she is now.

We got together a few days after Christmas and spent some time capturing her senior year. She was loving being in front of my lens & my camera was loving her too. I hope you enjoy these!

Savvy~ I am so excited to see where God takes you on this journey called, LIFE. Follow your dreams girlie. Trust in God no matter how rough life may get some days. Don’t let this world change the girl inside of you. Always be Humble & Kind.

I love you sweet Savvy & I’m so proud of you! Thank you for letting me capture some special memories.

xoxo~

Mackenzie

 

*** Please don’t crop or edit these images. Thank you!***

 

 

Keep You

“But grief is a walk alone. Others can be there, and listen. But you will walk alone down your own path, at your own pace, with your own shattered-off pain, your raw wounds, your denial, anger, and bitter loss. You’ll come to your own peace, hopefully… but it will be on your own, in your own time.” – Cathy Lamb

A few weeks ago we were driving in the car and I just felt such a heaviness on me. I remember looking out the window and holding back my tears. I opened my mouth and these words came out “Who am I?! I can be doing fine and then something I see or someone says hits me and I just break. I’ve always been the one to help people in pain and now look at me. I’m the one in counseling. How is this my life?” And my husband said this ” Max, you let people in. You loved.”

Please don’t read this and judge me on my pain. I know people have lost children and that hits my heart to the core. Pain is pain no matter how big or small.  I’ve hidden my pain down for months because people have said things to me like “Well can’t you just get over it?” or “Mackenzie, so n so’s daughter died yesterday.” I get it. But by saying those types of things to a person trying to push though it makes them feel like their pain isn’t valid, in turn making problems worse.

I don’t know if you have ever experienced pain, hurt or grief but it is  really terrible thing. Thirteen years ago I was told children weren’t possible, I know grief. That to me was a very dark time. This time my grief is different and I think that is because I have kids to take care of who rely on me having myself together. For that I am so thankful.

I was at the gym working out a few weeks ago and just so happened to be listening to country music. I can usually tell by my music choice what I’m feeling on that particular day. Anyways, a song came on and it just hit me to the core. I shed a few tears which I do quite often at the gym. I don’t break down and cry like a crazy but some days its therapy for me. The song was about pain and how she would one day feel like herself and then another just be weighed down with the emotions that overcame her. She tried so hard to protect herself from becoming that other person. I have listened to that song so much these past few days, especially when I’m alone and hurting. Pain comes and goes for me. I had three weeks where I was myself but then something triggered it and wham there it was. I hate it. But, its a part of me for now and I’m working on getting rid of it.

I don’t share this to blab about my woes. Actually, I have sat in front of this computer a handful of times and I just couldn’t get my thoughts written out. I didn’t really want to share my heart but I know when I feel a tug inside that I need to. This is for those that are hurting, that have buried it because they don’t think their pain is valid or real. For those that are afraid to get counseling because of what others may think or say.

Let me say this-

Last week was an emotional session for me. I was stressing about what the holidays will look like for my family this year. I was crying and I said ” So much has left my life this year. My home is gone. It’s material I know but I had no closure. Family is gone. And I’ve lost friends I love. It’s all gone. I just want things to be fixed and for me to have closure.” My sweet amazing counselor looked at me and said “Mackenzie, what if closure the way you imagine never happens? How can you get to a place you can survive and be ok?” I broke. Honestly, right now I don’t have a clue how I can do that. I’m the type of person that can’t stand when someone’s upset at me or if I’ve hurt someone’s feelings- inside it kills me. I want to fix the situation, say sorry and move on. But, I’m learning that this might not be possible and I have to get to a place where my heart can be ok with it. Whew! That rocks me. I literally can feel my heart hurt. I don’t want this feeling. But then she  said this “Mackenzie, you are a warrior.” And then I cried again. I’ve never thought of myself like that but those words made my insides feel a bit stronger. I have been knocked down many times and I’ve gotten back up and kept going. I will do the same this time. I am a warrior, you are a warrior.

If you have deep hurts that some days just want to drag you down please talk to someone. I know for me I don’t want to burden people with my hurts or I often don’t feel “safe” just opening up. Counseling is such a huge help and just to be prayed over or told the hurts you carry are normal to feel can make you leave there feeling so important and loved and normal. And when those hurts creep in and your head starts to fill up with craziness, stop and pray and literally hand it over to God. This is so hard for me cause I’ll hand it over but then pick it back up thinking I can fix it. Wrong! Hand it over and leave it for Him. Repeat & repeat as often as you need. I too am learning how to do this daily when I’m overcome with emotion. He knows our hurts and our thoughts and He is big enough to handle them.

Thankfully, this too shall pass!

 

 

Here is the song I was sharing about. xo

 

Be blessed~

Mackenzie

 

 

 

Shannon & Loren {Engagement}

“Somebody who betters you. Somebody who inspires  & encourages you in love & in life, who pushes you towards dreams & goals you’d otherwise ignore, who selflessly sacrifices their time to helping you become more courageous, well rounded & happy human being. That’s sacred. You hold on to love like that.” ~ Beau Taplin || Growth

 

Last night I had the pleasure of taking engagement pictures of Shannon & Loren. It was a beautiful evening down at the beach. Tonight as I was editing these pictures I seriously could have shed a happy tear because the love was just popping out of my computer screen. Gah! Just how it should be.

I’m excited for you guys to begin planning your wedding but also as you begin this new life together. I have been married for 15 years now and I still don’t have all the answers but I want to share with you a few things I do know.

1. Those butterflies you feel for each other now and the way you swoon at one another, that will be up to you guys to keep alive.
2. Laugh. Never stop laughing with each other.
3. Encourage each other. You are each others biggest fan. Show it.
4. Leave notes of encouragement for each other. Write notes on the bathroom mirror with expo markers.
5. Enjoy your time together. Life changes once you add kids into your life. Never take the time you have together for granted.
6. Never stop dating each other.
7. Sometimes we have to sacrifice our wants & desires for our spouses wants & desires- do it.
8. Curve balls will be thrown at you throughout your marriage. Don’t let those curves come between you. Dodge them together.
9. It’s ok to have interests & hobbies that don’t involve your other half. Never stop being the person that your other half fell in love with.
10. Never & I mean never go to sleep without saying “I love you”. If you are in an argument get over it. I know its hard as heck (some say I’m stubborn) but I promise you will sleep better with a clear head & heart.
11. Never stop dancing. Turn on the music in the kitchen when you are cooking & dance. When you are together in the car sing your hearts out. Promise me you will always dance.
12. LOVE ALWAYS!!!

 

Now on to these cuties!

xoxo

 

Be Blessed~

Mackenzie

 

Would you rather…

“Would you rather have to eat 5 slimy earthworms or 1 crunchy cricket? … Would you rather give an elephant a bath or have to climb a tree to get a stuck baby monkey out?… Would you rather live at the beach or in the mountains?”

Have you ever played this game? I play this quite often with my kiddos in the car when they are annoying each other or if we get stuck in traffic and we are losing our minds. We each get a turn to ask each other what they would rather. Sometimes they like to get sneaky and say neither but I make them pick one. It’s kind of how life is, we don’t always get an easy choice. Sometimes both paths are hard but we have to get brave and just go for it.

If you asked us if we would rather live at the beach or in the mountains, I’m 99% certain we would all say the beach. Asher might say the mountains cause he is our outdoor mountain climbing kiddo but I think if he really thought about it the beach would win. There is just something about the beach that does a body good. If you dislike the beach I’m sorry. I feel like when we go to the beach time slows down and we forget about what life may be throwing at us that day. There is something magical that makes my kids enjoy each other and they usually are bummed when we say its time to go.

Yesterday the beach was calling me. I had in my head this idea that we would go down and eat at Ruby’s on the pier and then take some pictures in the sunset. Avery & I wanted to dress “fancy” and then walk in the water in our long dresses. I know there will come a day when she doesn’t want to dress like me or let me fix her hair all up so when she gets these ideas I swoon. So we did just that and then we got to the beach and realized the U.S. Open was happening & the tide was high so our plans for our photo shoot didn’t happen like I had planned but perhaps it turned out even better. The boys got autographs from some surfers, we shooby doobied down to Ruby’s, they all got a hat from the big vans store and then played in the water. And of course I took tons of pictures. What more could we ask for?!?! :))

Would you rather be at the beach or the mountains?

I hope we see you at the beach!

xoxo

Mackenzie

Millers in Mexico

“Never be ashamed of a scar. It only means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.”

A week ago we loaded up our car a headed down to Ensenada to spend the week with 150 teenagers. My husband was asked to be the camp speaker with Azusa Pacific University- a lifelong dream of his. I cried off and on the whole ride down there. I know what you are thinking, “Oh Mackenzie! Don’t cry over going to Mexico.” I wasn’t crying for that reason. The day before we were to leave I was hurt by three people that we do ministry with. Three people I thought cared about me. So that drive down to Mexico my heart just wasn’t there. I kept thinking “How can I spend a week praying with people and loving Jesus? I can’t even trust people I do ministry with anymore let alone strangers.” If you know me in person you know I’m an introvert. No shame here! Lol. I’m not one that opens up to strangers so going to camp carrying a deep hurt scared me. For a long time I have felt like as a Pastor’s wife I have to have it all together. I know in reality that isn’t completely true but in a way it is. I can’t just walk into church and break down in tears- people will think I’m nuts! I keep my hurts and fears buried pretty well.  I’ve got a select group of friends I feel safe with but I didn’t even want to share this pain with them. We’ve had so much hurt these past three months that I’m getting tired of being the one that always shares my burdens. It’s so hard.

We made it to camp and my kids made themselves right at home. They were so excited to have the run of the camp. Everyday they were beyond filthy but watching them step out of their comfort zones was awesome! My husband too found his groove and was always somewhere chatting with people. The kids and I always joke when one of us asks where daddy is when we are at anything church related- “Oh you know Daddy. Always talk, talk, talking.” I won’t lie and say I found my groove right away. I was happy to be there and to make new friends but a big part of me just wanted to be in the comfort of my own home.

Tuesday night at chapel my husband was sharing about Peter. I have always felt like I relate so well to Peter. If I had to guess I might even say Peter was an introvert. He was so comfortable sitting in his boat. Jesus called him out and he didn’t want to go, he was fearful. I can only imagine what he was feeling at that moment. I’m often there too. “Oh but Jesus! I cant! Why me? There are so many others that would do a better job than I would. I can’t. I’m scared.” And then Jesus says “Do you trust me?”  Peter got out of his comfort zone, the boat, and trusted Jesus’s plan. I sat up on the deck above the chapel alone (introvert, remember?) and I cried. “Mackenzie, Are you going to get out of the boat and trust me? Or would you rather stay here where you are comfortable?” That next day I was suppose to spend the day in the  prison loving on some women. I woke up in a panic. “I cant! I’m scared.” I texted my husband who was gone way before we woke up and this is totally what I said “I cant go! They will search me and what about my belly button ring? I cant go. I have anxiety over this.” His response, “Put a band aid over it. You will be fine.”  That wasn’t the response I was hoping for but in my head I knew he was right. Get out of the boat Mackenzie! So guess what? I went! I kissed my kids goodbye and my twins cried. They were so afraid I wasn’t gonna come back and a part of me was too.

Getting in to the prison was a trip! Never in my life have I been so nervous but yet I felt peace. Once we all got searched and our arms all stamped up we finally made the walk back to the women. We entered the chapel and started setting up and before I knew it 26 women in all grey entered. They were cute, most were young and some were older and they were clean. I was told before that they aren’t given any toiletries or clothes by the jail. It is all brought in by groups like ours or by family if they have it. I was prepared to see some grungy girls but I was wrong. We were also told to not be fearful to touch or hug them. Many have been there for years and as women we all crave to be loved by touch. Deep breath Mackenzie. They started singing and praying and I put my hands on the girls in front of me and cried. It was right there that God met me in Mexico. I too felt like a criminal in that place. You see, that hurt caused by the people I thought cared about me was actually them accusing me of doing something I never did. I cried because even though I wasn’t a criminal in a way I could feel their hurt. God was comforting me so that in turn I could comfort them. Best verse in the Bible! “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in our troubles, so that we may comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1: 3-7

I have no idea what was said in that room that day but I could truly feel the love. We prayed, sang , made them lunch, prayed some more, gave them each a craft to do in their cell and then we hugged them goodbye. I don’t know their stories and they don’t know mine but what I do know is that right there in that room we were all the same. Broken women asking God to hold us, to comfort us, maybe some were seeking forgiveness. We walked out of that jail that day and every time we passed a guard I prayed. I showed them my stamps on my arms and I prayed that they too would seek God’s comfort. And then when we made it out I wanted to jump up and down and scream “I did it! I got out of the boat.” But instead I held it in. It truly was an amazing experience and I am so glad I went. Those women may never remember me but forever I will remember them.

The rest of the week was great. I had found peace and even started sitting down with everyone at chapel. My husband did an amazing job and I was so proud of him. I wish things had been different for me and that my heart would have been there the entire trip but I can’t change things. It’s ok to hurt and to be broken but it’s not ok to stay there.

I still have my moments of hurting. Sometimes I get angry and so upset with myself that I didn’t stand up when they were hurting me. I took it, like I always do. Most of that is who I am and I can’t change it but another part of that is me in ministry. I fear standing up for myself sometimes because I feel like we are to just take the hurt and burry it. It’s complicated and I’m praying one day if someone hurts me in a deep way again that I will defend myself. I may be a girl with muscle on the outside but on the inside I’m a girl with a big ole’ sensitive heart.

One of my biggest fears has always been to take my kids to Mexico. Call me crazy if you want but I have always freaked that they wouldn’t let me take them home cause they are well, Mexican. So the day I went to jail 😉 Avery later told me that someone took her and she cried. I later learned that they had gone to visit a village and that when the church was lining all the Hispanic kiddos up to go home someone took my Avery into that line. Fear of my life right there!!! Thank the heavens I was in jail. Anyways, she cried and someone from our group realized what happened and got her out. I can laugh now but eek! My baby!

What’s broken can be mended. What hurts can be healed and no matter how dark it gets the sun is going to rise again.

I pray with all my heart that I can teach my kids to love big. To think before they speak. That sometimes we will hurt others but when we do we need to say “I’m sorry”. To never go to bed mad. To love others that are different than them. To always say “I love you” to those they love. And most of all- to get out of the boat. Even though they may not want to.

May we all get out of the boat!

Be blessed~

Mackenzie

Congratulations Taren!!!

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” ~Ernest Hemingway

 

Oh Taren! I am so proud of you girlie. Tomorrow you graduate from college! What an amazing accomplishment that is and you wrapped up the last part of this semester as a married woman. That is not easy. But look where you are now, finished and ready to follow your dreams of teaching little minds.

It has been such and honor to get to celebrate all these special occasions with you! My camera adores you & these pictures are proof.

I love you sweet girl! That first day I met you many years ago you took a special spot in my heart. Celebrate your heart out tomorrow as you walk on that stage for your diploma. You did it!!!

Enjoy!

Follow your heart!

xoxo

Mackenzie

 

This too shall pass

 

“When you find yourself tipped over by the gusts of life; when you fall to the floor and shatter. There are those who will walk around your pieces, lest they cut themselves upon the scatter. But others will pick up your broken bits, they’ll cherish all they can gather. These are the ones to whom you must hold on to forever– not those who forsook you — but the ones who glued you back together.” – Shakieb Orgunwall–

For all our married years we have served in ministry in some way. We have always just had hearts to help those that are hurting. My husband is a lot better at this than I am because often times it means giving up yourself to give to others. That’s hard. I laugh and tell my husband that he is more and more like a real living Jesus to me. If I had to compare anyone to Jesus he would win hands down. His heart is big and he loves hard regardless of what we may have done in our past.

Our life has been rocked recently. I didn’t share details in my last post because I didn’t want an uproar in our family. Our house was owned by my in laws, we were asked to leave and things haven’t been the same since. I’ll be honest though and say things haven’t been right for awhile now. My emotions can run wild right here so I won’t let them. It is what it is and it is time for us to heal and move on.

Last Friday I was called up to our kids school and taken into an office with the principal and I was told he was dismissing my kids because we had moved. Even though I had already gotten an interdistrict transfer signed. He had called the district earlier in the day and had us denied. So now we have lost our home and our school. I honestly don’t even know what to think anymore. Yes, you can read this and say “Wow, that stinks but life will get better!” and you are right it does and yes, we will, but there is still so much hurt. I keep questioning what we did to deserve this.  Like, why are we just getting cast away by those we thought cared about us? We cared for these people, we loved, and they are gone. Is what we do even worth it?!?  .

One of my favorite books is “Because of Winn Dixie”. I couldn’t wait for my kids to get to the chapter book reading phase so they could love this book too. If you’ve never read this book I will summarize  it for you. The main character is a  little girl named “India Opal”. She and her father, “The Preacher”, have recently moved into a new town so he could pastor a little tiny church out of an old quickie mart. Opal and her father were abandoned by her mother when she was just a baby and she struggles with wondering why her mama left her. She is longing for friends in her new town but so far hasn’t had much luck. Opal was one day in the grocery store and a lost dog was also in the store reeking some havoc. Opal pretended that the crazy dog belonged to her so that he wasn’t taken to the pound. She named the dog, Winn Dixie, after the grocery store. Anyways, through this dog Opal was able to make friendships blossom amongst people you wouldn’t ever think possible. I was reading tonight’s chapter to my twins and it was towards the end of the book where Opal, Winn Dixie and their dear friend Gloria Dump had just started a party for the friends that they had made. It had started to rain and thunder and Winn Dixie hated storms and he had ran away. And then I read this, “Come here, child,” Gloria Dump said. She reached for me and pulled me close to her and whispered in my ear, “There ain’t no way you can hold on to something that wants to go, you understand? You can only love what you got while you got it.”

Right then I felt like Gloria Dump was talking to me. Our life has been full of people coming in and out for seasons. We are in another season where we have to let go and it is hard and painful and ugly but it is a season of letting go. Yesterday we were in the car and I asked my husband why our life has just been tipped over? He responded and said “Honestly, I don’t know. Maybe so that we love harder.” I thought about that for the rest of the car ride and I just wanted to say “No. I’m tired of loving people hard and then being let go.” But in reality I just can’t because it’s not who I am.

I adulated today ;)) and contacted the higher ups at the school district. I’m not one to easily blow a fuse but today I let it out. What was done to us last week was wrong and I wont stand for it. They asked us to come back but I declined. We won’t go where we aren’t wanted. Tomorrow my kiddos will start fresh at the school next door. Honestly, this afternoon I feel free and I haven’t felt this way in weeks. The wind is blowing through my windows and I know it’s God’s way of saying “You did it. Another storm came your way and you guys never gave up. I hear you keep saying in your head “This too shall pass” and Mackenzie, it’s passing. I have great plans for your family. Keep holding on.” So you know what? I will. People may come and go in my life, I may disappoint them, I may never know why they left but I know that through life’s storms my peoplewill never leave me nor will God.

Thank you to our friends that have reached out to us during this time. Whether it was a text, a facebook message, a phone call or showing up to pick us back up, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. You know who you are.

To my parents that have been here with us every step of the way we thank you. When I just needed to cry and be held you were here. I truly don’t know what I would have done without you guys. Mom always has said that ” at the end of the day, family is all you have” and she wasn’t kidding. I love you both like a mango. Always have & always will.

To my husband that has just picked us up and taken us from a dark spot that we never thought we would get out of, thank you. I know you hurt, I can see it, but I know over time your heart will heal and you will let go. Only once through this mess did we fight- that’s like a miracle right there! I love you and can’t imagine walking this road without you by my side. You have my heart!

This too shall pass. And it is. I can feel it.

Be blessed~

Mackenzie